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profiles!
Homer Simpson
Can life get any better for Homer J. Simpson? He is husband, father, Safety Inspector at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, bowler, beer drinker, astronaut, small business owner and dreamer. But it wasn't always so easy for Homer J. Raised by his father, Abe, who tried to compensate for the absence of Homer's radical hippie mother, Homer graduated at the bottom of his high school class and managed to earn the distinction of being the longest term entry level employee at the plant. Together with his high school sweetheart, Marge Bouvier, Homer settled down in Evergreen Terrace, the nicest upper-lower-middle class section of Springfield, to raise his three precious children. Homer is fond of Duff Beer, donuts, Marge's pork chops and watching the Bee Guy on the Spanish channel. His dislikes include his boss, Mr. Burns, yard work and his neighbor, Ned Flanders.
Marge Simpson
Marge Simpson is a happy homemaker and mother of three. Her prides and joys are Bart (her "special little guy"), Lisa, and Maggie. She's also very proud of her husband, Homer, even though he frequently loses his keys and needs her to find them. Marge also has strong relationships with her sisters, Patty and Selma, and with her father-in-law, Abe Simpson. But she also has secrets: She has been tempted to stray from her husband by a charming bowler and was nearly seduced into a life of crime by her one-time neighbor, Ruth Powers. Aside from her duties at home, Marge has flirted briefly with a number of careers ranging from police officer to anti violence activist.
Bart Simpson
Bart Simpson is misunderstood. Wrongly pegged as an underachiever and troublemaker, Bart would like to remind the world of some of his decent qualities: He looks out for his sister, Lisa; he's befriended outcasts and misfits like Milhouse Van Houten and Ralph Wiggum; he's injected romance into the life of his teacher, Edna Krabappel; and he brought down an illegal French winery during his brief semester abroad. So what if he's also befouled the Springfield Community Church with phony hymns or prank called Moe's Tavern several times a day for the last few years? It all balances out, right? At age 10, Bart has managed to live out a number of dreams: He has starred in his own short lived TV series (with his idol, Krusty the Clown), spotted and named a deadly comet that nearly destroyed his town, and almost snagged the role of Fallout Boy in the Radioactive Man movie. He couldn't have done any of those things without the help and support of his best friend, Santa's Little Helper.
Lisa Simpson
Lisa Simpson can't wait for college. She's only eight and already reads at a fourteenth grade level, and has written a number of application quality essays, one of which won her family a free trip to Washington, D.C. Her favorite activities include playing her saxophone, attending school and reading Non Threatening Boys Magazine. A fan of Malibu Stacy, Lisa tried unsuccessfully to create her own talking doll, Lisa Lionheart. Unfortunately, no one wanted to buy a talking doll that was as judgmental as Lisa. Lisa wants everyone to know that she is a vegetarian and that if she could have one thing (besides world peace), it would be a pony.
Maggie Simpson
Maggie Simpson has done a lot in her one year of life. She's learned to spell her own name with an Etch-A-Sketch, she's wandered the town of Springfield all by herself, and she's shot Springfield's richest man because he attempted to steal her lollipop. Eventually, she'd like to learn how to speak and walk without falling down.
Grampa Simpson
Not many people know that Abe Simpson is a highly decorated veteran of the Second World War. Even fewer people know that he is the inventor of the toilet and the man who made cats and dogs hate one another. No one knows these things about Abe because no one listens to him. In fact, they usually leave the room when he starts to speak. Father of Homer Simpson, grandfather of Bart, Lisa, and Maggie, Abe, a.k.a. Grampa, lives in the Springfield Retirement Castle where he enjoys soft foods and company of his friends. Abe was lucky enough to briefly find success in his retirement as a writer for the award winning Itchy & Scratchy cartoon series. That career came to an end when he publicly scolded the entire cartoon industry at an awards show. He has won no awards since then.
Patty Bouvier
Patty Bouvier resents the suggestion that her life is empty and boring. First, she has her sisters Selma and Marge, but foremost, she has Richard Dean Anderson, a.k.a. MacGyver. She passes her days as a clerk at the Springfield Department of Motor Vehicles, administering eye exams and approving people for driver's licenses. She spends her nights at home, watching MacGyver and smoking cigarettes. Many, many cigarettes. Patty prides herself on being less desperate than her twin sister, Selma, who has been married and divorced twice
Selma Bouvier
The only thing Selma Bouvier hates more than her brother-in-law, Homer Simpson, is being single. She has been married twice and, as luck would have it, divorced twice as well. First, she married Sideshow Bob shortly after he served his prison term for framing Krusty the Clown. The marriage ended amicably after Bob tried to blow Selma up during their honeymoon. Her second marriage was to Troy McClure, whom you might remember from such films as The Greatest Story Ever Hula-ed and They Came to Burgle Carnegie Hall. She married Troy in order to restore his reputation after a scandal involving underage fish nearly ended the thespian's career. Their marriage ended after Selma and Troy realized they neither loved nor felt particularly attracted to one another. For now, Selma's most enduring relationship is with Jub Jub, her pet iguana.
Snowball I
A young Lisa Simpson cried and cried when her beloved first cat Snowball died. Homer and Marge tried to fool her by replacing the deceased feline with an identical one (thankfully, it was alive), but Snowball II could never fill the void left in Lisa's heart. Like most cats, Snowball enjoyed playing with yarn, petting, and coughing up large chunks of her own fur. While cause of death is unknown, foul play has been strongly ruled out.
Snowball II
Snowball II is the scrappier, livelier replacement for the Simpson family's first cat (may she rest in peace). Snowball II has been known to dance upon a ball and perform minor tricks, almost never within the sights of any family member. She has a comfortably familiar relationship with Santa's Little Helper, the Simpsons' pet greyhound. So comfortable, in fact, that the two of them have been known to cuddle and pet one another when no one is watching. Like her namesake, Snowball II enjoys yarn, petting sessions and, as ever, coughing up large chunks of her own fur.
Charles Montgommery Burns
The rich, 104 year old owner of Springfield Nuclear Power Plant.His partner is Waylon Smithers. He can never remember Homer's name which gets him real upset. Bart was once his heir, Lisa has tried working with him to shut down his power plant, Marge once tried to paint him and he hated her for painting him nude. and Maggie shot him while he was stealing her lolli-pop. He also stole the Simpsons puppies to make clothes out of them.
Krusty the Clown
His real name is Herschel Krustofski and wanted to be a clown ever since he was a child but his father, who was a very respectful rabbi. He was accused of robbing the Kwik-E-Mart and Bart helped him prove tot he jury that he was innocent. He had been Bart's hero since he was two years old. He is in illiterate entertainer who was a third nipple triple bypass surgery and a pacemaker recipient. His half-brother is Luke Perry. He sponsored a camp but was really a work house for children. Krusty is also a big, very bad gambler, betting against the Harlem Globetrotters. Faked his death and changed his name to Rory B. Bellows. He also had Jay Leno help him out on his comedy routine and is the sales person for the wonderful car Canyonaro.
Nelson Muntz
Springfield Elementary School bully. He once went out with Lisa but she dumped him when she found out he lied to her. Says "Haw Haw" when something bad happens to somebody. normally hangs out with Dolph, Jimbo Jones, and Kearny. Built a soapbox named "Roadkill2000", he almost won the derby but Bart beat him. Nelson tried to become Burns' heir with this quote "gimme your fortune or I'll pound your withered old face in!" and he got an extra point for beating up Martin during the audition for becoming Burns' heir. Uses same thing for show and tell every week. He thinks the epidermis is your hair. Nelson lives in basically a shack and he loves Andy Williams. Once had the town laugh at him cause, he laughed at a very tall man driving in a little car and he made him walk in the street in his underwear while blowing kisses at the crowd. His parents got divorced. Stole the "H" off of Superintendent Chalmers Honda. Knows how to play the guitar. Believes that The Itchie&Scratchy& and Poochie show sucked. Won a BB gun and used it to kill birds.
Ralph Wiggum
Ralph is in second grade and is not the sharpest knife in the drawer. His Father is police Chief Clancy Wiggum. His happiest day was when the doctor told him he did not have worms anymore. He is in love with Lisa and wants to marry her one day. He loves eating glue and talking about his at named Mittens. My favorite quote by Ralph is " My cat's breath smells like cat food." He failed English. He thinks his "special area" is on his elbow. He thinks that a leprechaun tells him to burn things. He is very scared of the dark. Does not know how to dress himself and wears rubber pants to bed. In his house they call fires 'uh oh's"
Millhouse Van Houten
Bart's best human friend. Helped Bart buy Radioactiveman #1. Loves Krusty. Had a girlfriend named Samantha Stanky but her father moved her to all girl school. Loves Lisa now. Got Barts soul for .00. goes to a psychiatrist. Can get bart of his house by telling his mom that Bart is swearing or
Smoking. Saved his father, Police Chief Wiggum, and snake from Herman, the weapon salesman. His parents got divorced. Looks like the 'dud' in the game Mystery Date. Got beaten up by Nelson many times but the funniest time was when Lisa gave a note to Millhouse to give to Nelson that read 'guess
who likes you' When upon reading this Nelson makes him get a ride in an ambulance. In second grade the guidance councilor said that Millhouse was to be gay. Bart had gotten Millhouse to the hospital several times. Played goalie on Lisa's Hockey team.
Edna Krabappel
Springfield Elementary's fourth grade teacher, one of Bart's worst nightmare. She always does this sarcastic laugh. You will see her smoking inside the school and trying to find a man. She has been divorced but has been fooling around with all of Springfield's men. She is in love with Woodrow, who is really Bart, thrrew letters that he had written to her. She had some feuds with Principal Skinner about her pay. She is now currently dating, Principal Skinner. As you can tell they made up.
Martin Prince
The Fouth-Grader who has a gigantic I.Q. He thinks that he is very cool but Bart always points out to him he isn't. Beat Bart in the Class President election. Helps Bart and Millhouse get the first issue of Radioactive Man. He tore up Homer and Bart's relationship when Bart accepted to ride "The Honor Roller", Martin's soapbox racing car. He
normally only sits by himself on the bus and whenever he helps out the teachers or Principal Skinner he knows that he will probably get hurt. He is part of the Junior Campers, which is a pretty unpopular Boy Scout troop. His father works for the Stock Market.
Moe Szyslak
The owner of Moe's Bar, Flaming Moe's and Uncle Moe's Family Feed bag. Always keeps guns and grenades in his bar. He gets very upset because Bart make prank phone calls to Moe's and he is getting fed up with it but he does not know who is doing it. When news came to him about Homer's "death" he went right after Marge because he wanted to go out with her but for the longest time thought her name was Midge. He stole Homer's drink the Flaming Homer and put his name on it instead. He is a private bookie. He was an illegal immigrant. Always listens to Homer's problems and tries to help. He likes starting riots. Was a suspect for shooting Mr. Burns because he swore revenge after his bar was closed for having poisonous fumes. Part of the Bowling team "Pin Pals". He was a former boxer who was really good. He was Homer's manager when Homer became a boxer. Claims that he was one of the original Little Rascals but got fired after killing the original Alfalfa. Tried to help Bart not become
gay by taking him hunting with the guys. Everyone says that he is Ugly but is always willing to help out.
Ned Flanders
Homer's 65 year-old neighbor. He is recently a widow and has 2 kids, Rod and Todd. He and is family are very religious. He will not let his kids watch the T.V or use the dice while playing board games. He owns the Leftorium, a store that is devoted to left-handers. He does not like when Maude would highlight passages in his Bible. As a youngster he was a problem child. He had to go to Dr. Foster, a psychiatrist, and had beatniks as parents. He was taught by Doctor Foster to hold in all his anger and when he is upset he babbled. He is not really a betting man and does not believe in insurance
because he believes that is a form of gambling. Homer always has been stealing things from Ned. He is very strong. And played Stanley in the play "Oh! Streetcar". Saved Homer from his burning house. Is one of the club masters for the Junior Campers. When Homer and Marge lost custody of Bart and Lisa, Ned got custody and went Baptizing them but ended up baptizing Homer. His house was knocked down by a hurricane and his was the only house to get hurt. The neighborhood gets together and rebuilds it, but it is all-wrong and the house falls apart again. He flips out at everyone who helped and commits himself into a mental institution. Dr. Foster helps him out again and he is cured. He always calls up Rev. Lovejoy asking for help. He now is a swinging bachelor and is looking for women.
Barney Gumble
He is the person you will always see at Moe's drinking his life away. He is always seen burping and tends to drink till he passes out.His favorite beer is Duff and Duff Light. He has been a mall Santa Claus and tells Homer to spend all his money at the dog track to get more money. Homer does
this and looses all his money. He competed against Homer when Homer was a snow plower. He is friends with Linda Ronstadt. Tried out for NASA as an astronaut against Homer and he had to give up beer, when sober he regained all his senses back and beat Homer for the job. At the victory
celebration he had a sip of non-alcoholic champagne and thought it was regular and went back to his beer days. Thus getting fired. He likes professional wrestling, and is part of Moe's Civil War re-enacting group. Wins the Springfield Movie Festival with his short movie, "Pukahontas", where he describes his life as a drunk. Accused of shooting Mr. Burns because Moe's bar had to be shut
down due to toxic waste being in there. He was a relative of Arnie Gumble, who was part of the "Flying Hellfish", "Grandpa" Simpson's army unit in World War 2. homer is the person who introduced him to beer. Once he disappeared with homer's car for a month came back and forgot where he put it and
eventually found it in New York City. Event hough he is drunk most of the time he is always there for his friends in times of need.
Seymour Skinner
The principal of Springfield Elementary School. Actually he is a fraud. The real Seymour Skinner was known to be dead by the fake, but was really alive. The real Skinner came back to see his mother and saw his name on the elementary school as his anniversary of being principal. Skinner explained
that he came back to tell Agnes about her loss of her son but he did not find the nerve. And played Skinner for all this time. The town really did not care and he had his name changed to Seymour Skinner. He is Bart's worst enemy since kindergarten. Lives with his mother, Agnes, whom he has fights
with so many times. His mother calls him "Spanky" as a nickname. Persuaded Homer and Marge to put Bart in the foreign exchange program. Fought in the Vietnam War, where he was a sergeant and got made fun of by his troops. Fell in Love with Patty Bouvier and dated her for a while and asks her to marry him but she turns him down. Fears Superintendent Chalmers. Once was stuck under a pile of newspapers, in his basement, for a week. Has twice been Bart's friend, once when he helped him as school monitor and another while he lost his job. Part of 'The Be Sharps'. Lost his job when Bart brought Santa's Little Helper in for show and tell and he wrecked the school.Superintendent Chalmers blamed Skinner and was fired. Got his job back through Chalmers hearing the new principal, Ned Flanders, saying a prayer to his students. He is very interested in astronomy and has been looking to spot a comet to report. Once led the PTA to disband after not giving Mrs. Krabappel what the
teachers wanted. Always has Grounds Keeper Willie to do the dirty jobs like burring the schools hamster and go after a Santa's Little Helper in the school pipes. His school hit oil once but Mr. Burns stole his oil well. Mr. Burns was shot that night and Skinner was accused of it because Skinner was very upset that Burns stole all the school's money. When Skinner finds out that Bart had head lice and Lisa was covered in mud was without shoes Skinner calls the welfare office on Marge and Homer and because of him the
Simpson children were taken away from them. Once called school off because he had tickets for spring break that were changed a day earlier. He is now going out with Edna Krabappel and was accused of having sex in school until they found out he was a virgin. Principal Skinner is a nice person and plans to
have Bart forever.
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